Recently I have decided to be on social media less, and spend more of my time and efforts blogging, musing and creating outside that platform.
This is a huge shift for me. I feel dedicated and attached to my followers on Instagram and Facebook. We have been through a lot together. We have history, they know me..
My social media experiment over the next few months is not to completely detach from my social media presence, however stay a few steps back- gaining perspective, breaking habits, and begin blogging.
This is new for me, but I’m curious to see what happens.
I have noticed a few people announce recently that they are completely abstaining from social media. Even going as far as ditching their iPhone, hand held computer devices- and purchasing a 90’s Nokia flip phone. Not even texting. I’m truly impressed.- this would be impossible for my lifestyle of choice. But honorable, I get it- and I miss them.
As that sounds tempting, I realize the times we are in. Technology is part of our world, it kind of runs things right now- fortunately and unfortunately. Rather than throwing in the towel, I dug deep inside myself to why I wanted to step back from those platforms for a hot second.
I actually adore social media. I think it’s a fun and an interesting way to stay in touch with new and old friends. To express yourself creatively, and to share what you have been up too. To learn about others, what they are up to, gain some insight and inspiration from many other perspectives and lifestyles.
I documented my whole cancer journey on Instagram. From diagnosis to remission, even onto this intense healing journey I have been on over the last 3 years. This is intimate stuff, but it did help me heal and stay connected. I connected with other cancer fighters and survivors online, we held each other up through the inter web. Some of them even passed on, and I watched as their family members took over their accounts memorializing them. Some of them are healed or healing, and I enjoy watching them live and love life on a whole other level.
So why did I decide to take some steps back?
I felt myself being consumed by social media, like it owned me. As much as I did my best to portray the real me, media is media- and it’s an image of me. Unless all those followers knew me in person, which a decent percentage did and do, I am just an image on the screen. It felt detached, empty and boarderline narcissistic. There were times when my posts and stories forged a connection, most of the time it left me feeling odd and empty. Obsessing over if people liked it or not, or if I was over sharing.
I am a sensitive soul, empathic, I have the blessing and the curse to feels things deeply, and intuitively. Social media started feeling trite to me, attention grabbing. I started setting expectations for how many likes I thought I deserved based on how much heart and soul I poured into a post. 9/10 times I was disappointed and would leave me feeling shameful, and unworthy.
Now, I know this is my own fault- and a head game I was playing with myself. But after all I had been through, I guess I wanted people to care more, and I realized everyone is just doing their own life. It wasn’t personal. We are all inandated by our own life, struggles and experiences. Trust me, I get it.
I felt as though I have so much richness to share through my cancer journey and beyond, and social media was cheapening it for me. I just didn’t like that feeling anymore.
My intention after surviving terminal stage 4 death sentence cancer is to touch lives. And maybe I did to some degree on that platform, it didn’t feel like I was using my time and words efficiently, or effectively. As I felt like I did have a positive impact on some, I believe writing a book or blogging could span that positive impact further.
My hope over time, is that the social media platform becomes the side dish to the main course I am creating on here, and other areas. Not the other way around.
This takes me to this blog. And I tosseled and wrestled with blogging “personal” things on my business page. However my work as a healer and teacher and my personal healing journey are so interconnected and related, I feel as though it would be ok.
I feel myself changing and growing, I wanted to break some old habits. I feel like I am changing and there were some things I was posting that began to feel less authentic, or like “the old me”. But I was posting them out of habit and expectation.
Moving forward, I’ll still be on my IG and FB platforms. But way less: I was spending 2-3 hours a day on them! Now that was fine when I healing from the cancer treatments, and working a lot less. But life has grown for me over the last year especially. I have gotten a lot busier with some amazing endevoirs, and creative projects, rebuilding my life after such a big trauma has taken a lot out of me. It was time to choose more wisely where I wanted to spend the majority of my time and efforts.
I am excited to write more. This is one of my callings. I have no idea how many people will actually read this, or be inspired by it. Nonetheless, it’ll give me time to explore other avenues of self expression and healing.
Growing as a writer, artist and entrepreneur.
My hope is to touch many lives and hearts along the way.